A friend received a peculiar message on LinkedIn. Through some internet research, she determined it was a scammer. She then did what any rational person would do and referred the scammer to me. Below is the message he sent her: Her Response: Mark’s Reply: Within days, Mark requested that I add him to my network. Gladly, […]
Mr. Hong Kong Part II (The Getaway)
Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part I (Vegas Pink Monkey). Was it love at first sight? No. My sight was probably pretty blurred at that point. (Actually, it wasn’t. My liver won organ of the year for its performance in Vegas that week.) Anyway, the club isn’t a place for love; it’s a place for Goose, music, […]
Mr. Hong Kong Part I (Pink Vegas Monkey)
Once upon a time (July 2, 2013), I boarded a plane to LA. A friend from Jersey (we’ll call him “Bill”) and I went to visit a friend who lives there (we’ll call him “Brian”). The following day, we three amigos drove to Vegas. The desert temperature rose to a soaring 120 degrees, but we […]
Mr. Local Engineer
The inaugural date after over a year hiatus comes to you courtesy of Tinder. Mr. Local Engineer and I matched. Below are the initial messages. After additional back and forth, we determined that we live in the same town. He asked if I wanted to meet up that night. I agreed. If you recall from […]
Mr. Pharaonically Insane – The Ice Grill
The Ancient Egyptians are rolling in their graves. I got too cocky in my dating and didn’t prescreen properly. Mr. Pharaonically Insane sent me a message with his number and I called him. We chatted for a bit and he asked if I wanted to meet up. He told me he lives in Somerset, which […]
The Fresh Princess
The dating chronicles are back. You missed me, I know. Below is the new online dating profile narrative I’ve created. In central New Jersey born and raised Practicing law is where I spend most of my days Reading, writing, arguin’ all cool And, on the side, also lecturing English at a school […]
Mr. Joshua Walton the Scammer Part IV
To read the first set of messages with Mr. Walton, click here. To read the second set of messages with Mr. Walton, click here. To read the third set of message with Mr. Walton, click here. Typically, my blog entries consist of a message from Joshie, followed by a message from me. In this case, […]
Mr. Joshua Walton the Scammer Part III
To read the first set of messages with Mr. Walton, click here. To read the second set of messages with Mr. Walton, click here. Joshua Walton To Me Hello, Thank you for getting back to me. I am glad to know that you accepted to be my partner in this deal. Before we proceed, i want […]
Mr. Joshua Walton the Scammer Part II
To read the first set of messages with Mr. Walton, click here. On Monday, April 28, 2014 12:32 PM, Joshua Walton <joshua.walton@yandex.com> wrote: Hello,It is my profound pleasure to read from you regardless of the fact that we do not know each other in person. My decision of contacting you is based on your […]
Mr. Joshua Walton the Scammer
You may recall my correspondence with one allegedly by the name of Stephen Oronsaye. That name will forever live in infamy…at least on this blog. It took me some time to emotionally recover from the loss of Mr. Oronsaye. Finally, upon reading a message from Mr. Joshua Walton, I found myself able to move on. […]
Potential Roommate
Someone I know is looking for a roommate. A potential tenant responded with a ridiculous set of questions. My opinion was that the reply should be equally ridiculous. The questions are below. Buncha questions that I am curious about How is cabinet/fridge space handled? How are house chores shared? What are the house rules about […]
McDonald’s Drive Thru
I love McDonald’s. In particular, I love the new Buffalo Ranch McChicken sandwich. There’s just something about buffalo sauce that delights my oral kingdom. Once upon a time (around November or December of 2013), I was driving home from the mall when the urge to order one of these delectable sandwiches struck me. Luckily, there […]
Banzai Hibachi (Hamilton, NJ)
I recently visited Banzai, a Japanese restaurant in Hamilton, NJ, with a bunch of friends. The experience was less than stellar. Below is the review I left on Yelp: It is unfortunate that the lowest rating available is 1 star. I would much prefer to rate Banzai 5 x’s. The hibachi is the epitome […]
Jihad against Wasps
For the past few months, I made a conscious effort to peacefully coexist with the insects and arachnids. I even allowed a small spider to cohabitate with me in my bedroom. (By “allowed,” I mean it moved in and I did not execute it or remove it from the corner it occupied.) Just the other […]
Mr. Brooklyn Part I: Great Adventure and a Game of Cards
Mr. Brooklyn and I met when we were 12-years-old and it was adolescent crush at first sight. I then never saw him in the flesh again until 16 years later. At some point between our pre-teen meeting and our damn-we’re-almost-30 meeting, we became Facebook friends. We didn’t interact much via social media. On March 1, […]