In the piece of writing that inspired the creation of this blog, I categorized men into four groups: JIM, SAL, ADAM and DICK. There are a lot of ADAMs trolling around dating sites. Below are some examples of ADAMesque messages. I never reply to this type of lame message from lackluster beings. […]
Online Dating Fails: Spanish Elephants
Specimen: Hola! :-) Hi there! I don’t know why I typed “hola” since I’m not Spanish at all, but oh well. So how has this site been for you so far? Hopefully no horror stories! I guess I should probably write something more witty, catchy, or funny, but here’s some random stuff about me… I […]
The Future of Princess MoMo’s Blog
A PrincessMoMo blog reader made the following insightful comment: I was thinking, what are you going to do when you stop dating and finally find the right specimen? What will you write about then? Personally, I hope you do not stop dating, simply because the blogs about your specimens are quite amusing! Perhaps […]
Online Dating Fails: Lewdser
Call me an idealistic prude, but I simply cannot imagine the opening message/approach reprinted below being met with success. Specimen: i will suck your titties. lets hook up this weekend? Princess MoMo: You will do no such thing. Specimen: are you sure baby? i know your smooth titties are craving for some fun. Princess MoMo: […]
Date Dissection: Gay Edition (Guest Submission)
Yesterday, during my regularly scheduled facebook perusal, I stumbled upon a status message about an unenjoyable ongoing date. The status message poster was looking for a way to dump his date. Being the humanitarian that I am, I offered a suggestion. See below. Status Message: Douchebag date: wow, you're one sexy soy sauce surprise! I […]
Grammar Nazis – Cyber Thuggin’ 4 Life Yo
I recently joined a facebook group called, "You Know You're From Rutgers University when…" Prior to joining said group, I was of the belief that Rutgers is a decent school, with at least an average level of admissions standards. Some of the members of this facebook group lead me to question that belief. Before […]
Bad Shirt Epidemic
I can’t seem to catch a break on the shirts the specimens wear during my in-person encounters with them. I’ve written about this issue at least three times on this blog (the worst shirt, the most homo shirt, the stupid shirt). And there were plenty of other detestable shirts in between. Last night, I went out […]
Online Dating Fails: Generic, Cheesy, Grammatically Flawed Crap
Specimen: I loved reading your profile, it really caught my eye. I am a hopeless romantic, that believes if your lucky enough to find the right person you always try to keep them swept off there feet. I love to write poetry, short stories, and aspire to write a novel. I am not a […]
Princess MoMo on Politics
What started out as a grammar nazi comment on a facebook status, turned into a lengthy political "debate." I generally refrain from these sorts of discussions because I get too fired up; however, I made an exception because I was in some kind of vicious mood yesterday. The names of the liberals have been changed […]
Repository of Knowledge
Below is a message exchange between a college friend and P-Mo. College Friend: Just got a text from my younger sister, "Are all guys complete idiots or are you all secretly taken aside at a young age and taught very dumb things to say at bad times?" I, of course, directed her to your […]
T-Mobile SUCKS DICK
T-Mobile Asshole: Our engineers say that coverage in your area is limited because of the terrain, buildings and foliage. Me: So are you suggesting I move to an open field? T-Mobile Asshole: That would definitely help to increase the signal strength. Me: Does that seem like a reasonable solution to you? I should move to […]
Online Dating: DOMINATION
Specimen: Dominant specimen I see. What are your thoughts on power exchange? Any luck with this site? Princess MoMo: Thanks for visiting my blog :) Please elaborate on this power exchange you mentioned. Specimen: Have you ever dominated a male before? Princess MoMo: I'm not answering that in writing. For all […]
Online Dating Fails: New Series – Name that HATER!
I recently released a post in which I theorized the motivations of various categories of male online dating HATERs. I thought it would be fun if we all play a game called, "Name that HATER." Below is a message from a male specimen. See if you can identify which type of HATER he is. (Don't […]
Online Dating Fails: Mirror, mirror on the wall…who’s the least perceptive of them all?
Preface: What is one to do when blatant honesty doesn't work? In his defense, persistence is often the difference between success and failure. Not in this case though. 7/19/2011 12:10:39 AM Specimen: Hey there, how are you doing?? You seem cool and we should chat :) I am a good guy so you should reply […]
Online Dating Fails: Will you marry me?
Specimen: Would you like to get married, have kids and start a family with me?? Princess MoMo: No, thank you. Specimen: Why? Am I that ugly? Princess MoMo: I know this may come as a shock, but there’s more to relationships than looks. Specimen: I am shocked…most of the women on here judge men […]