Specimen: I Genuienly think you are extremly beautiful woman….Your ‘about me’ section tells me u seem a really Interesting person I am sameer….really good looking guy.I am 28 years of age,working as a program manager for a pharmaceutical company here in philadelphia. I would Iike to get the opportunity to know you better.. Let me know […]
Online Dating Fails: Jersey Shore
Specimen: text or call me beautiful.570REDACTED frankie lets go out for dinner/drinks tonight// hope u like sexy tanned italian men… causae u gotta date with one tonight..lol call or text me asap ciao bella frank Analysis: Okay. This is the worst kind of guy on dating sites. You may be surprised at the pervasiveness of self-proclaimed “sexy […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Riddles Part 5
Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 1 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 2 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 3 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 4 Mr. Riddles: I have no idea if you are being sarcastic (again… I really need to create the sarcastic font)… or if you are serious or […]
Online Dating Fails: Too many questions
Specimen: Hey, How are you doing? I read your profile and thought you sounded pretty interesting. Kind of puzzled at why you would be single honestly. So I thought I would try to get to know more about you. I guess to do so I am going to have to start off with a few […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Semipro
Mr. Semipro: Hello there beautiful..how are you today??Im Eric 32yrs of age from Hollister 831,very out going,a semipro football player,i work,drive,etc..was wondeering if you would like to get together sometime for coffe/drinks,or simply take a walk on the beach an watch the sun set an talk?? ERIC Analysis: Oh, he works and drives? How wonderful, […]
MoMo the Mail Order Bride
If I were interested in being a mail-order-type bride, a random facebook guy offered me the opportunity, not once, but twice. Lucky me. The messages are below. I did not respond. October 23, 2011 Hi, I just wanted to say hi and i would love to talk to you. Iam Samuel, professional engineer from Canada […]
Guest Submission: Online Dating Fails – Damaged Manhood
Do you believe love conquers all? Does a true and perfect love make life all worthwhile? To you, what is love? Is it just a feeling, the way how it feels to be in love, or is it more than the mere sum of those pleasurable sensations and experiences? Hello, I’m Bo and I really […]
Differences in Approach: Flowers vs. You Suck
Last week, I was in a castrating mood. On Monday, Mr. T was banished from the Princess MoMo Kingdom. On Tuesday, Mr. Car was similarly exiled. That Friday, Mr. T had flowers delivered to my office. To that point, I hadn’t heard from Mr. Car, aside from him “liking” someone’s comment on one of my […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Racist
Mr. Racist: What type of perfect man is interested in a non Caucasian female anyway? Did you ever consider changing your race to attract men? If you are not of Northern, or Western European descent, how can you expect a successful man to be attracted to you. Your ancestors clearly came from a third world […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Moonlight
Mr. Moonlight: Hi my name is Paul I saw your profile and really liked it. I am 38 year old who is family oriented, educated, and fun to be around. I have Blondish hair blue eyes 5ft10 clean cut attorney. I am charming and funny. I am seeking a lady who is down to earth, […]
Online Dating Fails: Top Douche
Top Douche: You suck. I lick.. and Wtf is up with making my messesge longer an unique? MoMo: You have made at least one false assumption in your message. Top Douche: that was yesterday.. Wtf did I say? Top Douche: ohyea.. I remember now.. you suck. I’m awesome.. go get cheated on cuz unless you date […]
Guest Submission (Online Dating Fails) + MoMo Analysis
Today’s online dating fail is courtesy of a friend of mine. She received the message below on PlentyofFish: hello my name is erik and i am 33 and a christain how about you u single have kids u drive i live in sicklerville with my mom and step dad i hope thats ok with you […]
Online Dating Fails: Clueless…
9/3/2011 1:44:41 PM Specimen: how are you :) so what are you looking for on here? I’m originally from flemington and moved to bridgewater. 9/3/2011 2:28:17 PM MoMo: I’m not sure anymore. 9/3/2011 2:32:14 PM Specimen: let me guess. u got screwed over in your last relationship? I know exactlyyyy how you feel 9/3/2011 2:35:30 […]