Why not to write in your online dating bio: Here are the most cliché things I’ve observed on Bumble, a dating app similar to Tinder except that it requires women to initiate contact and has an expiration time on matches. Looking for a “down to earth” girl. – Really? Do these men frequently encounter women […]
Shout out to Traitor Jo’s Friends…
Stuck in my business like in a dope fiend’s arm, a needle Thought by now you’d have overdosed, too much MoMo’s lethal You’re toxic and shitty, matter of a fact, you’re not friends, you’re fecal Bet you’ve been refreshing my site, searching for some more, a saucy sequel You can’t get enough of this rhyming […]
Traitor Jo Rap
Honesty is the best policy, but your pathology had you chronically lying to me, now you come with an apology for the distorted and twisted chronology, but it’s not genuine, much like reverse psychology, time to clean up that shit, call it a cleansing colonoscopy No hard feelings or bad blood, bet you can relate […]
Online Dating Greetings: Don’t Cockblock Yourself
“Hi.” “How are you?” “How’s your Tuesday?” “How was your breakfast?” “How are your holidays?” “You’re pretty. I’d like to get to know you.” “We have a lot in common. Let’s chat.” Garbage. Landfill quality, non-recyclable garbage worthy of no response other than, if at all, “thanks for the trash.” Think about it. If […]
Mr. Redcoat’s Rendition Annotated with Princess MoMo’s Comments
Lest we forget, at the end of the day, this is my blog. While I permit other’s perspectives, I would be remiss not to directly comment on the rendition. So, because this is princessmomo.com and not mrredcoat.com, I’m going to go Kanye West on his post. I’ma let you finish, but…my comments on his content […]
Mr. Hong Kong in New York
Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part I (Vegas Pink Monkey). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part II (The Getaway). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part III (Sodom, Gomorrah, and Rihanna). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part IV (Let There be Light). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part V (Farewell). I […]
The Easter Bunny
I recently made the error of relegating my eggs to solitary confinement in someone’s basket of hypocrisy, insecurity, and self-absorption. Should I tell you how I really feel? Ok. So, I had posted a lovely, poetic piece about my initial encounters with Mr. Redcoat. As is the case with many first encounters, Mr. Redcoat sent […]
Mr. Redcoat: ‘Twas 13 Nights Before Christmas
‘Twas 13 nights before Christmas, when all through the City Drunk Santas were stirring, sipping, and getting shitty; Amateurs were imbibing with not a bit of a care, We even witnessed one person fall off her chair. Predators were prowling for prey to place snug in their beds, While visions of getting it in […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess Part IV
CLICK HERE FOR PART I CLICK HERE FOR PART II CLICK HERE FOR PART III ThePureRican 10/7/2015 9:43:15 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Arabia, please, I’ve just been exhausted/ I see I’ve gotten to you so bad that you’ve completely lost it/ Back to tex’, call me Rex, a Fine Tyrannosaurus/ Lil’ […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess Part III
CLICK HERE FOR PART I CLICK HERE FOR PART II ThePureRican 10/6/2015 9:00:15 PM Report this message for inappropriate content I apologize, I was riding, didn’t mean to stop our debate/ I truly wish you a Happy Birthday, a Blessed day and night to celebrate/ Don’t get too comfortable though, tomorrow take a look/ Philoso_Phish […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess Part II
CLICK HERE FOR PART I ThePureRican 10/6/2015 1:41:25 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Oh, here we go, this chick acts like she wrote the book of rhymes/ Trying to get technical, okay, let’s get it on, it’s lunch time/ See nothing on my country? Let’s be honest, not the case or is it?/ […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess
ThePureRican 10/5/2015 6:34:07 PM Report this message for inappropriate content The Pure Rican is the PUREST, Arabia, of all pure/ So be careful what you ask for/ Because if this Rican licked your labia, you’d be hooked, askin’ for more/ Trust me, it’s not a joke, I’d be willing to make the bet/ ThePureRican, once […]
“Dear Fat People” Response
My two cents on the “Dear Fat People” video: 1. It wasn’t funny, but not because of the subject matter. It just wasn’t funny. I haven’t watched anything of hers that I found funny. She’s annoying and her videos make me feel epileptic. 2. This “I’m so offended, boy who cried bullying” epidemic needs to […]
The Meaning of Life
Imagine this scenario: You are an adult occupying the “real world” sphere. It’s whatever o’clock a.m. and an ever annoying sound assaults your ears. Your state of deep sleep is disrupted and you nearly jump out of your skin. You’ve barely succumbed to the forced consciousness as you reach for the source of the auditory […]
Mr. Super Annoyer’s Messages Annotated by Princess MoMo
For the backstory, click here. Below are my notes/comments (in pink) to Mr. Super Annoyer’s messages. Have you ever wondered what a girl is thinking when she doesn’t respond to you? See below. everythingheisnt 3/31/2012 11:35:01 PM Oh my godddddd! I can’t believe I found you here! [Me neither. Apparently, I can run, but […]