Six and a half wretched YEARS ago, the specimen gods shat up Mr. Super Annoyer into my life. Aside from the party at which I met him, I willingly subjected myself to him once more. That was all. At the conclusion of that day, a day long ago, I explicitly stated to him that I was […]
Epic Rap Battles of Online Dating
To avoid the drudgery of reading one lame-ass message after another in the cyber dating world, I very recently implemented a new rule. The rule is that cyber suitors must write to me in rhyme. My online dating profile is styled in the form of the theme song from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Here […]
Mr. Clambake
In search of a first date idea? Try a clam bake. In our initial messages on a dating site, Mr. Clambake mentioned his plans to attend a clam bake in the upcoming weeks. His excitement was uncontainable. I can’t honestly say that I was intrigued by the idea of this glutton-fest. As is typically […]
The Unfantastic Four: Mr. Bullshit, Mr. Rainman, Mr. Ken Doll, and Mr. Chameleon (PART II)
FOR PART I, CLICK HERE Textual relations with Mr. Chameleon ensued. I communicated my desire to see him that night. He reluctantly told me that he had a blind date set for the night. Shortly thereafter, he said she bailed. So, as circumstance would have it, we ended up meeting up for what was […]
The Unfantastic Four: Mr. Bullshit, Mr. Rainman, Mr. Ken Doll, and Mr. Chameleon (PART I)
It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about a specific specimen in detail. To make up for that, this piece will cover at least four of them – a far stretch from the Fantastic Four. For the past seven months, I’ve been in an unlabeled relationship with one we’ll call Mr. Bullshit. Mr. Bullshit and […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess Part IV
CLICK HERE FOR PART I CLICK HERE FOR PART II CLICK HERE FOR PART III ThePureRican 10/7/2015 9:43:15 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Arabia, please, I’ve just been exhausted/ I see I’ve gotten to you so bad that you’ve completely lost it/ Back to tex’, call me Rex, a Fine Tyrannosaurus/ Lil’ […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess Part III
CLICK HERE FOR PART I CLICK HERE FOR PART II ThePureRican 10/6/2015 9:00:15 PM Report this message for inappropriate content I apologize, I was riding, didn’t mean to stop our debate/ I truly wish you a Happy Birthday, a Blessed day and night to celebrate/ Don’t get too comfortable though, tomorrow take a look/ Philoso_Phish […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess Part II
CLICK HERE FOR PART I ThePureRican 10/6/2015 1:41:25 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Oh, here we go, this chick acts like she wrote the book of rhymes/ Trying to get technical, okay, let’s get it on, it’s lunch time/ See nothing on my country? Let’s be honest, not the case or is it?/ […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess
ThePureRican 10/5/2015 6:34:07 PM Report this message for inappropriate content The Pure Rican is the PUREST, Arabia, of all pure/ So be careful what you ask for/ Because if this Rican licked your labia, you’d be hooked, askin’ for more/ Trust me, it’s not a joke, I’d be willing to make the bet/ ThePureRican, once […]
Mr. Local Engineer
The inaugural date after over a year hiatus comes to you courtesy of Tinder. Mr. Local Engineer and I matched. Below are the initial messages. After additional back and forth, we determined that we live in the same town. He asked if I wanted to meet up that night. I agreed. If you recall from […]
Mr. Pharaonically Insane – The Ice Grill
The Ancient Egyptians are rolling in their graves. I got too cocky in my dating and didn’t prescreen properly. Mr. Pharaonically Insane sent me a message with his number and I called him. We chatted for a bit and he asked if I wanted to meet up. He told me he lives in Somerset, which […]
The Fresh Princess
The dating chronicles are back. You missed me, I know. Below is the new online dating profile narrative I’ve created. In central New Jersey born and raised Practicing law is where I spend most of my days Reading, writing, arguin’ all cool And, on the side, also lecturing English at a school […]
Another Slave Application
LetmecaterU 4/2/2013 8:51:17 PM Hi. I’m john and i’d like to present You with a unique topic for the sole purpose of conversation. don’t worry… my intention draws nothing more.. hopefully You can exchange opinions with me. keep an open mind. If a guy admitted he wanted, very badly, to be submissive for You, catering […]
Mr. Super Annoyer (Updated 3-5-13)
Well, it’s been over three and a half years since I’ve communicated with this guy, yet he doesn’t see that as a reason to stop sending me messages. For the backstory, click here. It appears that he will never let up. He is now pleading for my friendship just two days after he wrote that […]
Mr. Super Annoyer (Updated 2-24-13)
Well, it’s been over three and a half years since I’ve communicated with this guy, yet he doesn’t see that as a reason to stop sending me messages. For the backstory, click here. It appears that he will never let up. He is now pleading for my friendship just two days after he wrote […]