RoboCop: I’m going to the gym. Princess: Yeah, you used to be more jacked. You looked better that way. What happened? RoboCop: I hurt my spine. Princess: How? RoboCop: I was doing 315 lbs. shoulder shrugs, competing against my buddy. We were basically having a dick measuring contest. Princess: And you didn’t measure up, did […]
Texts with a Non-Detestable Specimen
After the initial exchange and first date with the non-detestable specimen (“NDS”), Princess MoMo was apathetic until NDS once again temporarily became amusing (not for long though). NDS and MoMo had an interesting telephone conversation during which they joked about procreating to form either a mini-MoMo or NDS Jr. Subsequent to their hypothetical joint […]
Conversation re: NJ vs. PA pronunciation of ‘comfortable’
Princess (to NJ friend): Pronounce ‘comfortable.’ Male NJ Friend: Comfortable. Princess: Yes. Exactly. A PA guy and I were debating the pronunciation. I argued that our way has less syllables and is better. According to dictionary.com though, we’re both correct. But he was trying to tell me that our way is wrong because of […]
Gchat: Evil Female Specimen Ploys
April 4, 2011 me: he apologized for the “inconvenience” did your girl do the same? Inar: yes me: she did? Inar: at least…but it didnt leave me satisfied yes me: haha hilarious sorry ass saturday hook ups Inar: i know i mean i thought maybe i was just drunk sat night but then we tried […]
Specimen Suggests Friends with Benefits Arrangement: Princess MoMo shoots him down obviously…
Ever since her younger Princess days, MoMo has somehow attracted a lot of written communication in her “relationships.” Before emails, these communications were in paper note or greeting card form (many of which are stored in her closet in her box of specimen crap). With the advent of modern technology, emails, facebook messages, and obviously […]
Online Dating Fails: Asphyxiation
Guy: hi cutei I see yr pics y looks so sweet .call me my numbet 569/xxx/5071 Princess: I would say don’t hold your breath waiting on me to call you, but I actually think you should. Guy: ok
Online Dating Fails: Black Kettle
Guy: wow u sound incredible look forward to talking to u more do u like to ski or snowmobile or go boating or camping at all Princess: No. I actually don’t like any of those things. Moreover, your writing is atrocious. Guy: whats moreover mean well nothing like calling the kettle black duh u smart Princess: […]
Specimen Suitor Attempts to Lure me in with Princess MoMo Speak
On Saturday night, Princess MoMo discovered that her group of friends was no longer present in the bar. But more disturbing, one of said friends had absconded with her device! MoMo was alarmed. She did a scan of the bar for a specimen worthy to help her track down her missing apparatus. She approached her […]
Specimen Dissection: April 29, 2011 Date Recap
Some time ago, I posted an entry about an online dating specimen that I did not detest. As you might expect, my instincts were correct. I provided the specimen with the number to my device and he subsequently made text contact. Below are some of the introductory texts exchanged as well as a brief […]
Online Dating Fails: False Expectations
Guy: Sometimes you need to not expect, but to expect the unexpected. If that makes sense… Princess: No. It does not make sense at all. One cannot not expect yet expect the unexpected at the same time because in expecting the unexpected, one is expecting and therefore, not not expecting. Guy: Lol I like you:) […]
Dating Advice from Princess MoMo’s Friend
Subject: My Opinion On MoMo-pinion Ordinarily, I am cultured enough to know that relaying the following sentiments to you would be uncouth since they strictly pertain to your life. However, since a) you have so generously (and humorously) opened up your dating vault for me to enjoy and b) you’re savvy enough to dig my musings, […]
Divine Manifestations: A Castle Under Siege
Ever since Princess MoMo documented her terrifying encounter with evil mastermind motherbugger bin Spider, she and her loved ones have been under constant attack by members of al-Spida (rhymes with al-Qaeda) terrorist cells. First, the birds, bees and crickets conspired to disrupt Princess MoMo’s beauty rest and daytime dining. Second, MoMo’s mama reported a sneak […]
Princess MoMo’s Tavern Toilet Talk
Princess MoMo’s bladder required relief. She moseyed to the restroom in the drinking establishment. After waiting in the inevitable line, MoMo entered the stall. She sat her royal ass upon the toilet throne. In the stall next to MoMo, an individual was loudly describing her distaste for another female to her friend. One of […]
The Landfill of Dating Websites: Why Euthanasia should be Legalized.
For purposes of blog research and development (thanks Joe), I’ve joined several new dating sites. Based on my experiences, I can tell you that there is certainly a difference in the quality of users from site to site. On Sunday night, I added a new site to my online dating portfolio, Richmen.com. Upon posting my […]