Guy: Well hello…after reading what you had to say on your page and seeing your pics I would forever regret not getting in touch with you. We would be a really really good match I think eventhough I am 1 inch shy of your minimum but bigger and better than most in several more important […]
Texts from this Morning
Some people get booty-called/texted. Evidently, I get cuddle-called/texted. Princess MoMo: Turning grown men into interactive teddy bears since 1999. 4:26 am Guy: Hey u. hanging in there? 4:27 am Me: Yes I am. You? 4:28 am Guy: Come cuddle 4:28 am Me: Why? We haven’t even talked in weeks 4:29 am Guy: It will […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: The Fishman Swims Upstream – Part 3, The Final Chapter
To review Part 1, click here. To review Part 2, click here. EMAIL FROM PRINCESS TO SPECIMEN Introduction: It just seems that there is no progress since I have met you. My heat is still fucking broken. And the guy has changed the thermostat THREE times. And just to clarify, my responses are the ones […]
April 13, 2011 Specimen Dissection
Before describing the date, I’m going to include some of the messages we exchanged on the dating website. Him: That was hands down the funniest profile I’ve EVER read! “You’re” to much… I found myself laughing hysterically. You must get some classic emails… Me: Thank you. So are your pictures recent? If so, you look INCREDIBLE for […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: The Fishman Swims Upstream – Part 2
EMAIL FROM SPECIMEN TO PRINCESS (in response to this) my nuts are better. while having essentially an opposite mental and emotional connotation than your opening, it too is a great opening line. I thought it necessary to tell you, because with my recent healing I feel as though I just stopped pms’ing. It is amazing […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: Mike
I once sent an email to a specimen I was dating at the time with the subject line “A picture for you” with the following picture attached to the body. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words.
Emails to Ex Specimens: The Fishman Swims Upstream – Part 1
EMAIL FROM PRINCESS TO SPECIMEN i just got my period. great opening line, i know. but the implication is that i didn’t know i was pmsing this last week. i had a suspicion because i was inexplicably bitchy in the way that i am when i’m pmsing. umm but the thing is that i just […]
Online Dating Fails: Family-Tie-Breaking-Grammar
Guy: Me, LLC, believes Me, Inc. is an established and successful organization driven by creativity and passion. The CEO may be sarcastic, but definitely intelligent and playful and deserving of the same. A successful business partnership is no doubt in teh near future for Me Inc. Seriously, great profile…all of it. And when did English […]
Online Dating Fails: Hukd on fonix with 2 high school diplomas
Guy: hey hun how are you doing? i dont kno if im anythin close to what ur lookin 4 so if ur at all interested definitely let me know id love the chance to get to kno u Princess: You know what would have given you some insight into what I’m looking for? Reading my profile. […]
Online Dating Fails: Mystery
Guy: …youre stunning…and very intriguing. :) So, how does one learn more about the woman behind the beautiful exterior ? ;) Ty Princess: Some things must remain a mystery. Guy: Interesting response…is that a clever brushoff ;) or an indication that some things about a person remain mysteries? Eithers fine…just seeking clarity. :) Princess: It was […]
The 3-Day Rule
Evidently there's this unwritten 3-day rule, a rule which much is written about, and a rule with which many of you are familar. For the unfamiliar ones, this rule boils down to this: After going on a first date, a man should wait 3 days before making contact with the woman. This rule is ineffective, […]