Mama’s Boy: lol, you look absolutely adorable…. HOWEVER i get the vibe you are also the girl mama warned about :P Analysis: His vibe is well-warranted. Luckily, I did not respond. Why? He lives in Illinois. I live in New Jersey. The distance between those two states does not make for a logistically simple relationship. […]
Online Dating Fails: Close, but no cigar
Specimen: Hi I’m David!! We have all of the same qualities & interests,,we are perfect for each other!! Letz get married this weekend, we can fly to Vegas & have Elvis marry us. Haa, well I’m a bit of a wise ass. Really tho I’m NO good at this ice breaker thing, feel free to […]
Online Dating Fails: Average Joe
Average Joe: I came across your profile and you seem like down to earth girl and that is hard to find. Well if I fit what you are looking for and you would like to talk that would be great. (10 days later) Average Joe: I was look at some of the profiles on here […]
Online Dating Fails: Strict Height Requirement
Specimen: Hey I Genuienly think you are extremly beautiful woman. …Sigh I am sameer….really good looking guy.I am 28 years of age,working as a program manager for a pharmaceutical company here in philadelphia. I would Iike to get the opportunity to know you better.. Let me know what you think MoMo: Thank you. Though you […]
Online Dating Fails: When Keepin’ It Real Goes Wrong
Read to the end. 8/27/11 Specimen: You seem like a real challenge. I like that. Hit me up, I’d love to tell you a little about myself. Mike MoMo: Hi Mike- I’m not an Italian sports fanatic though. [My response was based on his profile, which states, “I prefer Italian girls, but love all types […]
Online Dating: Hugs to homeless
Princess MoMo: Do you really hug homeless people? Hugger of the Homeless: Yes, I really hug homeless people. Everyone could use a love-filled embrace, especially those people who are often gazed upon with some of the most wretched looks people can evoke. One just never knows how much a kind word or a smile can impact someone’s […]
Online Dating Fails: Snooki
Specimen: You look really really really alot like Snooky. Has anyone ever told you that???????????????????????????/ MoMo: Yes. Stevie Wonder once told me that. Specimen: Joking… you look way better than Snooky… WAY better
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Perfect
8/28/2011 6:41:34 AM Mr. Perfect: hello how are you doing, we never met i was checking my email and saw your pic. i think u r attractive…i would like to get to kno u :) I personally think i would be perfect for u :) 9/4/2011 2:17:18 PM Mr. Perfect: hello how are you doing, we never […]
Online Dating: MoMo the online dating profile proofreader
Princess MoMo: You’re incredibly hot, but I’m not into all of the tatts. Anyway, I’m writing to inform you that there’s at least one typo in your profile. It says “endulge.” The proper spelling is “indulge.” Best of luck. Overly Tatt’d Specimen: :) thanks for pointing that out to me good luck to you as well
Online Dating: Incompatible
Specimen: hi you seem like a great girl, and are super cute – with a bunch of losers on this site, how could you pass up the opportunity to meet a great guy like me? haha – i figured a silly/arrogant approach would at least get your attention haha :) im matt btw, nice to […]
Online Dating: Mr. Car
Mr. Car: 1. You’re probably thinking I’m nuts. 2. However, there’s a method to my madness. 3. I’d like to meet a man who is more intelligent than a third grader. 4. Many of those who have written to me on here have trouble commanding basic English. I think you’ve been commanding this website frequently lately. […]
Online Dating Fails: Five times too many messages
8/21/2011 9:23:38 AM Specimen: HOW U DOIN……………………………………………………………………….. 8/21/2011 2:39:33 PM Specimen: u to pretty 8/23/2011 6:31:20 PM Specimen: how u doin 8/25/2011 2:28:38 PM Specimen: hey.. 8/26/2011 11:58:02 AM Specimen: how u doin ——————————————————————————————————————- Analysis: Sending five messages devoid of substance is an ineffective approach. I give him credit for his persistence, but not enough […]
Online Dating Fail: When at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…
August 13, 2011 Specimen: I really wish we didn’t live so far apart. You’re absolutely gorgeous and if your personality is even half as great as your looks I would have loved to take you out some time. Happy fishing :) Btw, I really liked your profile and wanted to answer the questions..but clealy it […]
Princess MoMo on the Farm (abridged version – almost 30% shorter than the original)
This post is about my recent dates with Mr. Plane (so named because he owns a plane). Last weekend’s adventure (our first date) involved him whisking me away from the treacherous lands of New Jersey to Martha’s Vineyard. After reflecting upon this experience for two days, I concluded that a more subtle approach to a first date would […]
Online Dating Fails: Another persistent one…
June 19, 2011 7:20 p.m. Subject line: :-) Message: :-) would one symbol have the same effect as a one worder.? i guess i will have to make it two symbols since your email setting require my letter to be longer :-P hopefully this make my sarcastic email here more humorous June 19, 2011 Subject line: :-) […]