Mama’s Boy: lol, you look absolutely adorable…. HOWEVER i get the vibe you are also the girl mama warned about :P Analysis: His vibe is well-warranted. Luckily, I did not respond. Why? He lives in Illinois. I live in New Jersey. The distance between those two states does not make for a logistically simple relationship. […]
Online Dating Fails: Close, but no cigar
Specimen: Hi I’m David!! We have all of the same qualities & interests,,we are perfect for each other!! Letz get married this weekend, we can fly to Vegas & have Elvis marry us. Haa, well I’m a bit of a wise ass. Really tho I’m NO good at this ice breaker thing, feel free to […]
Online Dating Fails: Average Joe
Average Joe: I came across your profile and you seem like down to earth girl and that is hard to find. Well if I fit what you are looking for and you would like to talk that would be great. (10 days later) Average Joe: I was look at some of the profiles on here […]
Online Dating Fails: Strict Height Requirement
Specimen: Hey I Genuienly think you are extremly beautiful woman. …Sigh I am sameer….really good looking guy.I am 28 years of age,working as a program manager for a pharmaceutical company here in philadelphia. I would Iike to get the opportunity to know you better.. Let me know what you think MoMo: Thank you. Though you […]
Online Dating Fails: When Keepin’ It Real Goes Wrong
Read to the end. 8/27/11 Specimen: You seem like a real challenge. I like that. Hit me up, I’d love to tell you a little about myself. Mike MoMo: Hi Mike- I’m not an Italian sports fanatic though. [My response was based on his profile, which states, “I prefer Italian girls, but love all types […]
Spiders, Spiders Everywhere!!! They Must Die.
The longstanding war against Al-Spida (rhymes with Al Qaeda) continues. As you may recall, earlier this year, the leader, evil motherbugger bin spider, of this terrorist cell ambushed Princess MoMo. Unfortunately, MoMo lost that battle. For some time after the incident, MoMo was undisturbed by the eight-legged thugs. As a result, her spider alertness […]
A Battle of the MoMos: A look into my mental sphere
A. Background Emotions. Who needs them? Since roughly the age of 12 or 13, I’ve been trying to suppress mine. Almost a decade and a half later, I still haven’t succeeded. During my college years, my “you can’t affect me” masquerade was fairly effective. I held the MoMo feeling fortress down and all potential trespasses were shot on sight. In 2006, […]
Online Dating: Hugs to homeless
Princess MoMo: Do you really hug homeless people? Hugger of the Homeless: Yes, I really hug homeless people. Everyone could use a love-filled embrace, especially those people who are often gazed upon with some of the most wretched looks people can evoke. One just never knows how much a kind word or a smile can impact someone’s […]
Online Dating Fails: Snooki
Specimen: You look really really really alot like Snooky. Has anyone ever told you that???????????????????????????/ MoMo: Yes. Stevie Wonder once told me that. Specimen: Joking… you look way better than Snooky… WAY better
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Perfect
8/28/2011 6:41:34 AM Mr. Perfect: hello how are you doing, we never met i was checking my email and saw your pic. i think u r attractive…i would like to get to kno u :) I personally think i would be perfect for u :) 9/4/2011 2:17:18 PM Mr. Perfect: hello how are you doing, we never […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Plagiarizer
Plagiarizing Specimen: fcuking sh*tyour profile is longer than mine ! FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK ! Now I might have to write and add more humor to it. Gee thanks ! Vik Princess MoMo: Yours isn’t even original. It mirrors posts I’ve seen on craigslist. Step your game up. —————————————————————————————————————— Coincidentally, the day before this specimen messaged me, I […]
P-Mo’s Friend’s Dating Advertising Concept
Tired of online dating? Own a motor vehicle? Like stickers? If you answered yes to these questions, please read below! P-Mo’s Friend’s Dating Advertising Concept: Taking vehicular advertising to a new low. Going to try a new dating tactic… You know those family stickers that are on the backs of vans and stuff that show […]
Online Dating: MoMo the online dating profile proofreader
Princess MoMo: You’re incredibly hot, but I’m not into all of the tatts. Anyway, I’m writing to inform you that there’s at least one typo in your profile. It says “endulge.” The proper spelling is “indulge.” Best of luck. Overly Tatt’d Specimen: :) thanks for pointing that out to me good luck to you as well
Online Dating: Incompatible
Specimen: hi you seem like a great girl, and are super cute – with a bunch of losers on this site, how could you pass up the opportunity to meet a great guy like me? haha – i figured a silly/arrogant approach would at least get your attention haha :) im matt btw, nice to […]
Conversation re: Mr. Plane
Conversation between P-Mo and her cyber bff re: Mr. Plane: Cyber bff: I’ve decided that it is slightly suspicious to have a farm and not have any animals. Not even a couple of dogs? Princess MoMo: So do you think he’s disguising burial grounds for his female specimen victims as a farm? Cyber bff: Possibly. […]