Specimen: Subject line: can you do me a favor? ? I really need a favor if you can help me that would be great. by the way what are you up to these days MoMo: Who is this? What’s the favor? Specimen: can I tear you up tonight MoMo: Only if you […]
Online Dating Fails: I cannot suppress my inner Grammar Nazi
Specimen: Other then being extremely entertained by your Profile, I have to ask for more…. as far as my background check goes. I have a Top Secret clearance from the Military, So I hope that will Suffice. If you need other proof of my credentials I would be glad to show you but I am sure […]
Online Dating Fails: Let’s be friends
Specimen: Hi, how are you, my name is Randy nice to meet you, just came across your profile, I have to say you that look great on your pictures and I would love to get to know you even if it means as friends :) So, if I may ask how was your weekend ;) […]
Online Dating: Heed mama’s warning
Mama’s Boy: lol, you look absolutely adorable…. HOWEVER i get the vibe you are also the girl mama warned about :P Analysis: His vibe is well-warranted. Luckily, I did not respond. Why? He lives in Illinois. I live in New Jersey. The distance between those two states does not make for a logistically simple relationship. […]
Online Dating Fails: Close, but no cigar
Specimen: Hi I’m David!! We have all of the same qualities & interests,,we are perfect for each other!! Letz get married this weekend, we can fly to Vegas & have Elvis marry us. Haa, well I’m a bit of a wise ass. Really tho I’m NO good at this ice breaker thing, feel free to […]
Online Dating Fails: Average Joe
Average Joe: I came across your profile and you seem like down to earth girl and that is hard to find. Well if I fit what you are looking for and you would like to talk that would be great. (10 days later) Average Joe: I was look at some of the profiles on here […]
Online Dating Fails: Strict Height Requirement
Specimen: Hey I Genuienly think you are extremly beautiful woman. …Sigh I am sameer….really good looking guy.I am 28 years of age,working as a program manager for a pharmaceutical company here in philadelphia. I would Iike to get the opportunity to know you better.. Let me know what you think MoMo: Thank you. Though you […]
Online Dating Fails: When Keepin’ It Real Goes Wrong
Read to the end. 8/27/11 Specimen: You seem like a real challenge. I like that. Hit me up, I’d love to tell you a little about myself. Mike MoMo: Hi Mike- I’m not an Italian sports fanatic though. [My response was based on his profile, which states, “I prefer Italian girls, but love all types […]
Online Dating: Hugs to homeless
Princess MoMo: Do you really hug homeless people? Hugger of the Homeless: Yes, I really hug homeless people. Everyone could use a love-filled embrace, especially those people who are often gazed upon with some of the most wretched looks people can evoke. One just never knows how much a kind word or a smile can impact someone’s […]
Online Dating Fails: Snooki
Specimen: You look really really really alot like Snooky. Has anyone ever told you that???????????????????????????/ MoMo: Yes. Stevie Wonder once told me that. Specimen: Joking… you look way better than Snooky… WAY better
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Perfect
8/28/2011 6:41:34 AM Mr. Perfect: hello how are you doing, we never met i was checking my email and saw your pic. i think u r attractive…i would like to get to kno u :) I personally think i would be perfect for u :) 9/4/2011 2:17:18 PM Mr. Perfect: hello how are you doing, we never […]
Online Dating: Incompatible
Specimen: hi you seem like a great girl, and are super cute – with a bunch of losers on this site, how could you pass up the opportunity to meet a great guy like me? haha – i figured a silly/arrogant approach would at least get your attention haha :) im matt btw, nice to […]
Conversation re: Mr. Plane
Conversation between P-Mo and her cyber bff re: Mr. Plane: Cyber bff: I’ve decided that it is slightly suspicious to have a farm and not have any animals. Not even a couple of dogs? Princess MoMo: So do you think he’s disguising burial grounds for his female specimen victims as a farm? Cyber bff: Possibly. […]
Online Dating: Mr. Car
Mr. Car: 1. You’re probably thinking I’m nuts. 2. However, there’s a method to my madness. 3. I’d like to meet a man who is more intelligent than a third grader. 4. Many of those who have written to me on here have trouble commanding basic English. I think you’ve been commanding this website frequently lately. […]
Online Dating Fails: Five times too many messages
8/21/2011 9:23:38 AM Specimen: HOW U DOIN……………………………………………………………………….. 8/21/2011 2:39:33 PM Specimen: u to pretty 8/23/2011 6:31:20 PM Specimen: how u doin 8/25/2011 2:28:38 PM Specimen: hey.. 8/26/2011 11:58:02 AM Specimen: how u doin ——————————————————————————————————————- Analysis: Sending five messages devoid of substance is an ineffective approach. I give him credit for his persistence, but not enough […]