Shakespeare Specimen: Subject line: Dreamed about you… Opening Message: Dreamed about you for so long Didn’t want to wake up this early… Nothing is the same since you’ve gone I should have been over you already… All I do is think about you all day But I know that you forgot about me… And all […]
Online Dating Fails: Lucky
Specimen’s opening message: Ooooh, Arabic…it would be so taboo dating u Specimen: Ohhh, Christianity :(… Princess MoMo: Luckily, you don’t have to worry about dating me. Specimen: yep, luckily ;) Analysis: This clown incorrectly presupposed that he was in some way desirable to me. Moreover, based on a review of his profile and photographs, his arrogance is unfounded. […]
Lions and Lions and Apes….Oh My!
On August 14, 2011, a call from a specimen came through on my device. I met this specimen through my online dating escapades last year. Our first date was on Sunday, June 20, 2010. We met for dinner. Conversation wasn’t particularly riveting, but I attributed that to us being exhausted from the weekend shenanigans . […]
Online Dating: Blast from the Past
Specimen: Hi Monica. How have you been? Have not talked to you in several years. Hope all is well Princess MoMo: Hi. Please refresh my recollection. Specimen: We met several years ago when you were studying at Rutgers. We had dinner and continued to talk. We last talked in ’09. I relocated […]
The Trolls of Craigslist
Have you ever wondered who replies to craigslist personals? Apparently, a lot of people do. I posted an ad under the women seeking men section on Friday night around 10:15 p.m. for entertainment purposes. (I’ve posted on there in the past, so I was prepared for the influx of messages I was about to […]
Online dating message exchange and date dissection (8/11/11)
Princess MoMo: Wow, I can’t believe your profile is longer than mine!!! You should refine your grammar quiz though. Check out my version for ideas. [I reprinted the text of his profile at the end of this post.] Specimen: thanks…. I think. I can be a bit pedantic at times :-) I got a laugh […]
Online Dating: Saltyballs
Saltyballs Specimen: Lol You are ridiculous! We are going to get arrested!!! We have to be friends… I am crazy. What are your thoughts? -me Princess MoMo: Why do you think I'm ridiculous? Saltyballs Specimen: Haha! Your profile just tells me how crazy u are!! Ur sarcasm! My sarcasm gets me in trouble… […]
Online Dating: MoMo and Match
I recently joined Match.com on a week trial basis. I decided that I wouldn’t put up my usual sarcasm laden profile. So I started out with my bit about “Me, Inc.” However, less than 24 hours later, I had to add some MoMo-ism in the mix. Below is the content of my temporary Match profile […]
Online Dating Fails: ADAMesque Messages
In the piece of writing that inspired the creation of this blog, I categorized men into four groups: JIM, SAL, ADAM and DICK. There are a lot of ADAMs trolling around dating sites. Below are some examples of ADAMesque messages. I never reply to this type of lame message from lackluster beings. […]
Online Dating Fails: Spanish Elephants
Specimen: Hola! :-) Hi there! I don’t know why I typed “hola” since I’m not Spanish at all, but oh well. So how has this site been for you so far? Hopefully no horror stories! I guess I should probably write something more witty, catchy, or funny, but here’s some random stuff about me… I […]
Online Dating Fails: Lewdser
Call me an idealistic prude, but I simply cannot imagine the opening message/approach reprinted below being met with success. Specimen: i will suck your titties. lets hook up this weekend? Princess MoMo: You will do no such thing. Specimen: are you sure baby? i know your smooth titties are craving for some fun. Princess MoMo: […]
Date Dissection: Gay Edition (Guest Submission)
Yesterday, during my regularly scheduled facebook perusal, I stumbled upon a status message about an unenjoyable ongoing date. The status message poster was looking for a way to dump his date. Being the humanitarian that I am, I offered a suggestion. See below. Status Message: Douchebag date: wow, you're one sexy soy sauce surprise! I […]
Bad Shirt Epidemic
I can’t seem to catch a break on the shirts the specimens wear during my in-person encounters with them. I’ve written about this issue at least three times on this blog (the worst shirt, the most homo shirt, the stupid shirt). And there were plenty of other detestable shirts in between. Last night, I went out […]
Online Dating Fails: Generic, Cheesy, Grammatically Flawed Crap
Specimen: I loved reading your profile, it really caught my eye. I am a hopeless romantic, that believes if your lucky enough to find the right person you always try to keep them swept off there feet. I love to write poetry, short stories, and aspire to write a novel. I am not a […]
Online Dating: DOMINATION
Specimen: Dominant specimen I see. What are your thoughts on power exchange? Any luck with this site? Princess MoMo: Thanks for visiting my blog :) Please elaborate on this power exchange you mentioned. Specimen: Have you ever dominated a male before? Princess MoMo: I'm not answering that in writing. For all […]