While Princess MoMo is the content master of this blog, the technical wizardry is handled by computer guru Shifty. You may be wondering how these two individuals met. It is also possible that you’re not at all wondering that. Irrespective of your wondering status, here is the tale of how a beautiful union between prolific […]
Online Dating Fails: Autism
Guy: almost awkward… i have a slight form of autism… and am looking for a very cool person… to be friends with and would like to go beyond that… but… check my profile out… and thank you for taking a moment to check me out… even if you are not interested… Princess: Well, yes, that […]
Online Dating: Should we quarantine him?
Guy: I didn’t finish reading the entire rant but from what I read it was pretty damn awesome. Im walking on egg shells while writing you in fear my fat fingers accidentally misspell a word or two. Go ahead judge me! :/ Princess: Hello – There are several errors in your profile, though I like where […]
Online Dating: The only problem so far is that he lives in PA
Guy: 1. You’re 2. there’s 3. than 4. here Despite receiving quite a few messages of the same grammatical caliber, did someone really misapply here/hear? I’ll cautiously admit I enjoyed your little diatribe complete with cited articles supporting your theories. The only subsequent logical, rather less romantic, step would be to reduce your high level of […]
Online Dating: Small World – Cross-Website Recognition
Guy: im sorry to ask ..i know this girl from highschool that just started dating a guy that( i have elephant memory so dont thing im weird) do u know a guy named [redacted]? cause im pretty sure you are in some of his facebook pics? if not sorry i asked and enjoy your holiday […]
Specimen Dissection aka date recap April 21, 2011
On April 21, 2011, I went out with a specimen that I met circa 2005 on a dating site. (I began experimenting online dating during the dial up days.) Contact was reestablished with said specimen through facebook. Recently, I decided to shut down one of my facebook profiles in favor of a new one. He […]
Online Dating Fails: Benefactor
Guy: I would consider you in any capacity you had you had in mind, desired, wanted…. Princess: What are my options? Guy: Seriously, your options are entirely up to you. Princess: I need a menu from which to select. Guy: For starters: 1. Benefactor of some negotiable persuasion 2. Dating Princess: Please elaborate on point […]
Online Dating: Most frequently asked question: “Where are you originally from?”
Guy: you live in the north east you’re in the legal field you’re single those are 3 out of 5 things i look for in a woman :) Please respond within 3 business days or I will commence in eating my weight in ice cream. Princess: What are the other two things? I have a […]
Online Dating Fails: Booze
Guy: Well you definately tell it how it is which you should no one wans to waste time and we are all looking for somthing so i hope my pics pass your long and hard judgement lol im 29 from staten island i worked as a trader for last 9 yrs and about 6 months […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: Program for Mike to Attend
I have an account with $456,879,457,348,230,120,234,436,234,742.23 (USD) that I need to transfer to your country. If you choose to accept this mission and it is successfully completed you can keep 1% of the total amount. If not, I will have to kill you. Okay so I got an email of programs for graduating seniors. I […]
Online Dating Fails: Dan, like many of his cohorts, sucks at English
Guy: hi my name is dan and im from bridgewater nj and it looks like we have some things in common. ide like to get to know eachother better if you are intristed .let me know .Dan Princess: “ide” like to to inform you that I’m not “intristed.” Best of luck.
Emails to Ex Specimens: Mike misses Princess MoMo
Princess MoMo, Hello. My name is Michael [redacted]. I miss your big beautiful eyes and your sparkling personality. I have traveled far and wide and you were right, there are no replacements for the Princess. Ironically, as I typed the last line I found a strand of your hair. I know you are about to say “its not […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: Mike makes a picture for Princess MoMo
Previous Correspondence with Mike: Princess MoMo makes a picture for Mike Mike responds to the picture Mike’s message and attached photo (original photo has been altered in order to protect the identity of Princess MoMo): Hope you are having a wonderful day. It was a busy day at the office but I just want to know […]
Online Dating Fails: Servant Part 2
A few weeks after the initial exchange, this guy wrote to me again. Guy: Still as elegant as ever. Nice to gaze upon you again :) Princess: Believe it or not, I was thinking about you this weekend. On Sunday, I was tasked with the laborious errand of modern day hunting and gathering, otherwise known as […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: Mike’s Response
In response to the lovely picture I sent him, Mike wrote: haha. It’s amazing how I threw you out of my car and house, you ruined my b-day and made me miss the championship game last night but yet you still can make me laugh. Is this the “waning” off period? Is that how u […]