Imagine this scenario: You are an adult occupying the “real world” sphere. It’s whatever o’clock a.m. and an ever annoying sound assaults your ears. Your state of deep sleep is disrupted and you nearly jump out of your skin. You’ve barely succumbed to the forced consciousness as you reach for the source of the auditory […]
Response to Libyan Scammer “Rogers Stuart” – Part I
—–Original Message—– From: Rogers Stuart Sent: Thu, Feb 7, 2013 3:22 pm Subject: Hi Dear Friend. I saw your profile and I decided to reveal this secret to you, I am Rogers Stuart, personal air pilot to the late Muammar Gaddafi of Libya. Before a revolt pushed him out from power in August 2011, he […]
Mr. Super Annoyer’s Messages Annotated by Princess MoMo
For the backstory, click here. Below are my notes/comments (in pink) to Mr. Super Annoyer’s messages. Have you ever wondered what a girl is thinking when she doesn’t respond to you? See below. everythingheisnt 3/31/2012 11:35:01 PM Oh my godddddd! I can’t believe I found you here! [Me neither. Apparently, I can run, but […]
Why Do Men Lie?
Why do men lie? I’ve been on this earth as a human being (as opposed to fetus, embryo, or whatever other physical form) for 10,327 days. For at least half of those days, if not more, I’ve had a love/hate relationship with the opposite sex. (It seems like recently they love me and I […]
The Subject of my Amorous Feelings
The proverbial “they” say love finds us when we least expect it. That is precisely what happened to me today. On my way home from work, I planned on stopping at the liquor store to pick up some red wine. As I battled through standard New Jersey traffic, the remnants of my nerves deteriorated. […]
I Hate Brandon Singer Part VII
Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part I Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part II Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part III Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part IV Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part V Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part VI Brief Recap of Parts I-VI: I met […]
Online Dating Fails: The First of the April Fools
Not only do dating sites offer annoying ghosts of dating present, but also ghosts of dating past. I checked one of my online dating sites this morning (though I find myself virtually never responding to anyone these days) to find that one of the ghosts of dating past had written me a message. Below is […]
8 Mile
Generally, I am one with the indoors. I don’t play sports, except for when guilted or bribed into softball by my coworkers. I detest hiking and jogging, let alone running. Part of my aversion to outdoor jogging or running is that I don’t like running to nowhere. Today, sudden and unexpected inspiration struck me. […]
I Hate Brandon Singer Part VI
Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part I Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part II Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part III Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part IV Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part V Recap: I met a couple on a cruise in June 2010. A little less than […]
I Hate Brandon Singer Part V
Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part I Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part II Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part III Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part IV Synopsis: Seventy-eight minutes before the wedding was to start, Brandon Singer bailed as my date. The “extenuating” circumstances? He’d boozed too hard […]
Proposition 19 (defeated)
——————————————————————————————————————————————- Your “likes” and comments are REQUIRED. Failure to do so will result in years of disenchantment and may cause an increase in heart rate, palpitations, sweating, nausea, vomiting, difficulty breathing, pallor, dizziness, weakness, shakiness, headache, apprehension, nervousness, anxiety and, in rare cases, death. Thanks. ——————————————————————————————————————————————- I posted a status message during lunch today that read, “Omg! The […]
I Hate Brandon Singer Part IV
Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part I Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part II Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part III Overview: One named Brandon Singer informed me one hour and 18 minutes before a wedding that he would not be able to accompany me as my date. Why? Because he’s […]
I Hate Brandon Singer Part III
Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part I Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part II Quick Recap: Brandon Singer agreed to be my date for a wedding, but Brandon Singer did not uphold his end of the bargain. Instead, he went out the night before the wedding, got shitfaced, potentially smashed his nose and […]
PMS: The Cheese Stands Alone
Background I mostly deal with the male gender. A vast majority of my friends are men. My only sibling is y-chromosomed. And, most of the humans with whom I work closely are of that persuasion as well. Throughout my experiences, I’ve discovered that men don’t understand women, particularly their mood swings. Men: You don’t […]
I Hate Brandon Singer Part II
Not much has changed since “I Hate Brandon Singer Part I,” except that he has defriended me on facebook. Apparently, he didn’t like my entry recounting his bullshitary, nor did he like the fact that I posted a courtesy copy of said entry on his facebook wall. To quickly recap, I met Brandon Singer […]