Background: A friend of mine recently began online dating. She sent me the following message: “I got an interesting offer today from a specimen. We dated a few times but it never worked. He calls and wants to know how I’m doing etc. I responded with what do you want? He responds with I’m just […]
Guest Submission: Date Dissection – There Will Be Blood
Intro: Another one of my wonderful friends has submitted a summary of one of her dates. This one is bloody. Accordingly, readers’ discretion is advised. Below is her write up, of course with my Editor’s notes. The pictures are from the actual crime scene. ————————————————————————————————————————- I ended up nearly slaying a specimen with a knife. […]
Guess Submission: Date Dissection
Intro: Below is a write-up courtesy of one of my good friends. He is new to the online dating scene and I’ve been coaching him through it. In exchange for my advice, he agreed to submit a summary of his first in-person encounter with an online dating specimen. (For the record, specimen is a gender-neutral […]
Racist Cookies
(Texts with a friend) Friend: The most racist cookie ever … MoMo: Did they place them right next to the crackers? Friend: Hahaha good one but no. Negro cookies were segregated by the check out area.
Guest Submission (Online Dating Fails) + MoMo Analysis
Today’s online dating fail is courtesy of a friend of mine. She received the message below on PlentyofFish: hello my name is erik and i am 33 and a christain how about you u single have kids u drive i live in sicklerville with my mom and step dad i hope thats ok with you […]
Girl Talk re: Mr. T (10/26)
Cyber BFF: so, are you digging Mr. T? 6’5″? really? MoMo: Yes, I’m digging him. Particularly on a banter and primal level. And, yes, he’s 6’5″ Cyber BFF: do you possess photos of this person? MoMo: yeah [provides link to his facebook page] I don’t find him particularly hot But I’m attracted to him Pheromones […]
P-Mo’s Friend’s Dating Advertising Concept
Tired of online dating? Own a motor vehicle? Like stickers? If you answered yes to these questions, please read below! P-Mo’s Friend’s Dating Advertising Concept: Taking vehicular advertising to a new low. Going to try a new dating tactic… You know those family stickers that are on the backs of vans and stuff that show […]
Conversation re: Mr. Plane
Conversation between P-Mo and her cyber bff re: Mr. Plane: Cyber bff: I’ve decided that it is slightly suspicious to have a farm and not have any animals. Not even a couple of dogs? Princess MoMo: So do you think he’s disguising burial grounds for his female specimen victims as a farm? Cyber bff: Possibly. […]
Flannel Should Have Been a Blowjob
Male Friend (re: MoMo’s Zebra print Onesies): the PJs are ok. i can’t say i like them because you make fun of plaid shirts and i have a few. Princess MoMo: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Say it ain’t so!!!! BURN THEM IMMEDIATELY!!!! Friend: get out of here. Princess MoMo: Stop fucking playing. You need to dispose of those […]
Zebra Print Gear
It’s no secret. I love zebra print. For example, the MoMo-mobile is decked out in zebra print, including front seat covers, furry dice, front and back floor mats, a zebra beenie baby and a zebra umbrella. Similarly, my office walls are adorned with two zebra print pieces of art and a baby leopard tapestry. Luckily, […]
Dating Advice: Girl Behind the Desk vs. Mall Girl
Guy: Are you available for some dating advice? P-Mo: Yes, what’s up? Guy: I have no problem approaching and talking to a member of the opposite sex when out at bars or concerts. My problem is girl beh P-Mo: Please define “beh.” Guy: Sorry. The girl behind the desk at the dentist office or the […]
Gchat re: Earthquake
MoMo: You didn’t like it? Inar: it was awesome! i think i’m the only one who knew what was going on made it right to my doorway just like they train you MoMo: What did you do in the doorway? Inar: you’re supposed to stand in doorways so ceiling shit doesn’t fall and crush you […]
The Future of Princess MoMo’s Blog
A PrincessMoMo blog reader made the following insightful comment: I was thinking, what are you going to do when you stop dating and finally find the right specimen? What will you write about then? Personally, I hope you do not stop dating, simply because the blogs about your specimens are quite amusing! Perhaps […]
Repository of Knowledge
Below is a message exchange between a college friend and P-Mo. College Friend: Just got a text from my younger sister, "Are all guys complete idiots or are you all secretly taken aside at a young age and taught very dumb things to say at bad times?" I, of course, directed her to your […]
Online Dating Fails: Guest Submission
For better or for worse, Princess MoMo is not the only female who receives less than stellar messages from online dating specimens. Below is an exchange that comes to you courtesy of a friend of Princess MoMo. Jul 28, 2011 – 3:42pm Specimen: Hi there. I think you're cure. Not sure about those button […]