5:30 a.m. – Princess MoMo awoke because her auditory system was accosted by one of the most wretched of sounds. No, it was not that of her alarm. Nor was it cannons blasting outside of her castle. It was birds, birds, birds, birds, birds, birds, birds. MoMo reluctantly left the comfort of her bed […]
Online Dating Fails: Autism
Guy: almost awkward… i have a slight form of autism… and am looking for a very cool person… to be friends with and would like to go beyond that… but… check my profile out… and thank you for taking a moment to check me out… even if you are not interested… Princess: Well, yes, that […]
Online Dating: Should we quarantine him?
Guy: I didn’t finish reading the entire rant but from what I read it was pretty damn awesome. Im walking on egg shells while writing you in fear my fat fingers accidentally misspell a word or two. Go ahead judge me! :/ Princess: Hello – There are several errors in your profile, though I like where […]
T-Mobile sucks…surprise, surprise….
On February 11, 2011, Princess MoMo marched into a T-Mobile store located in North Jersey in an effort to obtain a functional new device. Prior to this trip to the physical device store, she had ordered one from T-Mobile’s telephonic customer service people. The device she received from them was flawed. She shipped back the […]
Mouse Madness
There once was a girl named Misha Mouse; Princess MoMo knew her from their sorority house. Misha and MoMo would together eat food; And often they’d play beer pong when in the mood. Then one day after acquiring much knowledge; These two characters graduated from college. Mouse moved away to the coast on the west; […]
Princess MoMo is terrorized
I recruited a brother from the same mother to accompany me on a trip to Party City. My objective was to acquire some props and décor for an upcoming Princess MoMo-hosted social gathering. I grabbed the keys to my motor vehicle, but my brother decided that he would drive. I danced my way to his […]
Gchat: Princess MoMo seeks hobbies and eats cereal
Bob: i always thought you were the slapper not the slappee me: even the best of us need to be slapped back to our senses sometimes 2:45 PM Bob: an almost humble statement from Princess MoMo i’m in shock 2:47 PM me: one shock after another for you over there 2:48 PM Bob: its a good thing i’m young otherwise […]
Online Dating: The only problem so far is that he lives in PA
Guy: 1. You’re 2. there’s 3. than 4. here Despite receiving quite a few messages of the same grammatical caliber, did someone really misapply here/hear? I’ll cautiously admit I enjoyed your little diatribe complete with cited articles supporting your theories. The only subsequent logical, rather less romantic, step would be to reduce your high level of […]
Online Dating: Small World – Cross-Website Recognition
Guy: im sorry to ask ..i know this girl from highschool that just started dating a guy that( i have elephant memory so dont thing im weird) do u know a guy named [redacted]? cause im pretty sure you are in some of his facebook pics? if not sorry i asked and enjoy your holiday […]
Gchat: Princess MoMo getting on a guestlist
me: what events are you doing this weekend Bob: lima friday panache sat. though friday i may end up taking off cuz i have to go to the bank sat. morning @ 8 11:49 PM me: what’s panache and what are you doing at lima Bob: we have the new 3rd floor for ourselves me: so […]
Specimen Dissection aka date recap April 21, 2011
On April 21, 2011, I went out with a specimen that I met circa 2005 on a dating site. (I began experimenting online dating during the dial up days.) Contact was reestablished with said specimen through facebook. Recently, I decided to shut down one of my facebook profiles in favor of a new one. He […]
Online Dating Fails: Benefactor
Guy: I would consider you in any capacity you had you had in mind, desired, wanted…. Princess: What are my options? Guy: Seriously, your options are entirely up to you. Princess: I need a menu from which to select. Guy: For starters: 1. Benefactor of some negotiable persuasion 2. Dating Princess: Please elaborate on point […]
Online Dating: Most frequently asked question: “Where are you originally from?”
Guy: you live in the north east you’re in the legal field you’re single those are 3 out of 5 things i look for in a woman :) Please respond within 3 business days or I will commence in eating my weight in ice cream. Princess: What are the other two things? I have a […]
Online Dating Fails: Booze
Guy: Well you definately tell it how it is which you should no one wans to waste time and we are all looking for somthing so i hope my pics pass your long and hard judgement lol im 29 from staten island i worked as a trader for last 9 yrs and about 6 months […]