Not too long ago, I posted Mr. Dennis’s opening message to me on this dating site. This is the sequel. Subject line: wow a stuck up grammer bitch you are Message: are you serious you make a big deal over the simplexity of certain words. I’m glad I have no chance with you Ms. […]
Online Dating Fails: Nope, never occurred to me…
Guy: So I suppose I can understand your reluctance to chat given that my pics aren’t posted… But has it occurred to you that you might be missing out on somebody who is attractive, highly educated, goal-oriented and driven, has a great career, an amazing family, a strong moral compass… and only doesn’t post pics […]
Online Dating Fails: Servant
Guy: Can I be your servant? Princess: I currently have no vacancy for a servant. Guy: :) Women who are successful in the business world give me the jolly’s. I hope you don’t take this question rudely but, would you like to have a face to sit on while you work in your […]
Online Dating Fails: Self Esteem
Guy: You have to be one of the prettiest/sexiest woman on this site! Def one of the nicest faces Id ever wish to come acrossed! Going to have to save you as a top favorite …Looking sooo hot and beautiful in the pics you have posted! Are you all natural or have you had some […]
Online Dating Fails: Love & Romance Festival in Air
Guy: Come lets fall in Love with each other…..Its the season of Love & Romance Festival in Air ……lets take every chance to make it happen real…. What u say??? Princess: No. Final answer. Guy: ahhhh u r so unfortunate to get in Princess: I’m not even sure what that means, but […]
Online Dating Fails: Geometric Terms
Guy: every guy has been to a hooker or would date a stripper the ones who say they haven’t or would never are liars … unfortunately you’d prefer guys to lie to you .. otherwise you have ruled out every man alive in your profile . all guys don’t frequent strip clubs though .. just […]
Disorder in the American Courts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said […]
Online Dating Fails: Rising Gas Prices
Guy: i was going to drive to the end of the world to meet you but i see you dont like man that have kids beautiful. you have a good day tho Princess: Gas is pretty expensive these days…so lucky for you, you won’t have to make that drive.
Online Dating Fails: Sanctimonious
Guy: Hi there oh beautiful, your profile is oh so sanctimonious. :) Gene Princess: Your big word usage excited me for long enough to read your profile. However, the excitement faded with each sentence to which I was exposed. For example, you used “then” rather than “than.” That alone is enough to send chills up […]
Online Dating Fails: Strugglin’
Guy: Hey beautiful wuts up my name is shawn i stay in prospect park delco im a good man lookin for a good woman to chill and get to know im not rich im strugglin i do have goals just takin me long had a hard life i do work i paint houses and apartments […]
Online Dating Fails: More Poor Grammar…
Guy: So i passed all your tests. Read my profile and let me know if you might be interested. Hope your having a good weekend. Conrad Princess: Conrad – Unfortunately, you did not pass all of my tests as you used “your” rather than “you’re” in your message. :( Guy: so just because of that you […]
Online Dating Fails: Never
Guy: Hey so when do we get to meet lol :) names Vito Princess: Hopefully never. Guy: Lol nice. Yea I’m ugly and boring good answer :p
Online Dating Fails: The Poor Grammar Epic is Spreading
Guy: Well hello…after reading what you had to say on your page and seeing your pics I would forever regret not getting in touch with you. We would be a really really good match I think eventhough I am 1 inch shy of your minimum but bigger and better than most in several more important […]
Someone’s failed attempt to make it to my house
Well! M! I just walked into my parents house…..Spent the last 6 hours driving- trying to find your place. Just when my phone started to beep and die, as I passed the blurry (I can’t see at night, even with my glasses) ‘We Sell Eggs’ sign, I decided it was time to give up. It […]
Gchat: Dating Bailout
j: if these girls knew hot tall smart guys why wouldnt they keep them for themselves? me: how many do they need? i only want one not a dozen so they shouldn’t be greedy either j: maybe obama can tax them on their men so that they have to give one up redistribution of men […]