For better or for worse, Princess MoMo is not the only female who receives less than stellar messages from online dating specimens. Below is an exchange that comes to you courtesy of a friend of Princess MoMo. Jul 28, 2011 – 3:42pm Specimen: Hi there. I think you're cure. Not sure about those button […]
Online Dating: Does size matter?
Specimen: I must say, I absolutely loved the way you wrote your profile! I fit the job description nearly 100%… but alas, I do not meet the height requirements. I am wondering if you would still accept my resume for consideration? I feel as though I could be a valuable asset to your company. […]
HATERs, BITCHES, JEWs, and BULLLLYs
My online dating profile garners much attention, both positive and negative. This post focuses on the motives of the naysayers. I am going to put on my pseudo-psychotherapist hat and provide my theories as to why a Headstrong Asshole That Exhibits Rudeness (“HATER” for short) would write unconstructive messages to women. Theory One: A […]
Online Dating: More fan mail
Lately, I've released several "hate mail" containing posts. (There is a reason for that. You'll find out on 7/26/11.) Lest you subscribe to the mistaken belief that most online daters are assholes, here are some of the positive messages I've received. How are u princess? Ive read your profile and i loved it. […]
Online Dating Fails: Hater wishes disability on MoMo
July 21, 2011 Hater Specimen: I would simply just like to know where you had that picture taken, the one where you are sitting on what seems to be a very grand window, with those beautiful clouds in the background. July 21, 2011 Princess MoMo: That picture was taken in Italy. July […]
Online Dating Fails: Chic Repellent’s almost unilateral conversation
Today's message exchange comes to you (well originally to me) courtesy of OkStupid.com. July 19, 2011 CHIC MAGNET: Hunterdon County? I stay in Clinton alot. I would really love to speak to you some time! July 19, 2011 PRINCESS MoMo: What do you do in Clinton? July 19, 2011 – 4:03pm CHIC […]
Mother Fucking Joe Plays Hard to Get
Mother Fucking Joe Follow-up On Tuesday July 19, 2011, Princess MoMo initiated contact via facebook with Mother Fucking Joe. He told her a tale about a hooker. Later that night, the two conversed on the telephone and agreed to meet on Thursday, July 21, 2011. MoMo did not hear from Mother Fucking Joe on […]
Online Dating Fails: Another dissatisfied customer
Mr. Dissatisfied: Do you really think somebody will put up with this attitude.. Jebus.. pissed me off and i only read thru first few lines of your profile. They want a little about yourself not an essay :) MoMo: When I go to the store and see an item on the shelf/rack that I do not […]
MoMo the Leprechaun
As of late, I'm starting to become suspicious of whether specimens are sending me legitimate messages or whether they're intentionally attempting to reach unparalleled levels of outrageousness bordering schizophrenia in order get a spot on the blog. If it is the former, the pharmaceutical industry will continue to thrive. If it's the latter, then […]
Online Dating Fails: Stalkerdate.com – HippyMike the Poet
After countless communications and dates with unfulfilling specimens, Princess MoMo has officially quit her quest for Prince MoMo. However, her online dating profiles remain active AND for the greater good, your entertainment (yes, she's a benevolent Princess), from time to time, she joins new dating sites. Last time she joined a new site, she quickly (in […]
MoMo’s Apology to Capo
After today's post about MoMo and Mafioso, MoMo discovered that Capo defriended her blog facebook profile. Surprisingly, MoMo's Jiminy Cricket surfaced. She messaged Capo the following: Capo- I see you've taken the liberty of defriending me, presumably because of my blog post publicizing our cyber interaction. I have this internal parasite that I just can't […]
MoMo and the Mafioso
This self-proclaimed Capo, a facebook random, has been on a diligent pursuit to unite MoMo (or Diva, as he refers to her) with Mafioso (or Capo/Don/Boss/Angel as he refers to him). The negotiations are below: June 2, 2011 Capo: You look like a Diva/Angel, So so hot, I would to have dinner or cafe, […]
Online Dating: Mother Fucking Joe and his Hooker Tale
Princess MoMo and Mother Fucking Joe began corresponding in April. After their exchanges on the dating site, communication was limited to periodic facebook comments and the occasional facebook message. Over the course of their facebook friendship, MoMo recognized that Mother Fucking Joe was consistently amusing. Ergo, she decided she wanted to meet him. Below is […]
Online Dating Fails: Hate Mail
Specimen: your profile was a delight to skim through. I wish you an incredible amount of luck in finding a man patient enough to deal with such a pessimistic person as yourself. The pretentiousness of this was seriously tragic yet beautiful. I hope i'm never as mean spirited as you possibly are to people in your life, seeing […]
Online Dating: Locks of Love – A specimen <3s MoMo's hair
Specimen: wow, you have awesome hair!! MoMo: Thanks. Looks like you have something in common with lionesses. In selecting a mate, they favor males with the densest, darkest mane. Specimen: wait a minute…… did you just call me a girl?? MoMo: The commonality I was referring to was a predilection for a certain hair type, […]