Guy: almost awkward… i have a slight form of autism… and am looking for a very cool person… to be friends with and would like to go beyond that… but… check my profile out… and thank you for taking a moment to check me out… even if you are not interested… Princess: Well, yes, that […]
Online Dating: Should we quarantine him?
Guy: I didn’t finish reading the entire rant but from what I read it was pretty damn awesome. Im walking on egg shells while writing you in fear my fat fingers accidentally misspell a word or two. Go ahead judge me! :/ Princess: Hello – There are several errors in your profile, though I like where […]
T-Mobile sucks…surprise, surprise….
On February 11, 2011, Princess MoMo marched into a T-Mobile store located in North Jersey in an effort to obtain a functional new device. Prior to this trip to the physical device store, she had ordered one from T-Mobile’s telephonic customer service people. The device she received from them was flawed. She shipped back the […]
Mouse Madness
There once was a girl named Misha Mouse; Princess MoMo knew her from their sorority house. Misha and MoMo would together eat food; And often they’d play beer pong when in the mood. Then one day after acquiring much knowledge; These two characters graduated from college. Mouse moved away to the coast on the west; […]
Princess MoMo is terrorized
I recruited a brother from the same mother to accompany me on a trip to Party City. My objective was to acquire some props and décor for an upcoming Princess MoMo-hosted social gathering. I grabbed the keys to my motor vehicle, but my brother decided that he would drive. I danced my way to his […]
Gchat: Princess MoMo seeks hobbies and eats cereal
Bob: i always thought you were the slapper not the slappee me: even the best of us need to be slapped back to our senses sometimes 2:45 PM Bob: an almost humble statement from Princess MoMo i’m in shock 2:47 PM me: one shock after another for you over there 2:48 PM Bob: its a good thing i’m young otherwise […]
Online Dating: The only problem so far is that he lives in PA
Guy: 1. You’re 2. there’s 3. than 4. here Despite receiving quite a few messages of the same grammatical caliber, did someone really misapply here/hear? I’ll cautiously admit I enjoyed your little diatribe complete with cited articles supporting your theories. The only subsequent logical, rather less romantic, step would be to reduce your high level of […]
Online Dating: Small World – Cross-Website Recognition
Guy: im sorry to ask ..i know this girl from highschool that just started dating a guy that( i have elephant memory so dont thing im weird) do u know a guy named [redacted]? cause im pretty sure you are in some of his facebook pics? if not sorry i asked and enjoy your holiday […]
Gchat: Princess MoMo getting on a guestlist
me: what events are you doing this weekend Bob: lima friday panache sat. though friday i may end up taking off cuz i have to go to the bank sat. morning @ 8 11:49 PM me: what’s panache and what are you doing at lima Bob: we have the new 3rd floor for ourselves me: so […]
Specimen Dissection aka date recap April 21, 2011
On April 21, 2011, I went out with a specimen that I met circa 2005 on a dating site. (I began experimenting online dating during the dial up days.) Contact was reestablished with said specimen through facebook. Recently, I decided to shut down one of my facebook profiles in favor of a new one. He […]
Online Dating Fails: Benefactor
Guy: I would consider you in any capacity you had you had in mind, desired, wanted…. Princess: What are my options? Guy: Seriously, your options are entirely up to you. Princess: I need a menu from which to select. Guy: For starters: 1. Benefactor of some negotiable persuasion 2. Dating Princess: Please elaborate on point […]
Online Dating: Most frequently asked question: “Where are you originally from?”
Guy: you live in the north east you’re in the legal field you’re single those are 3 out of 5 things i look for in a woman :) Please respond within 3 business days or I will commence in eating my weight in ice cream. Princess: What are the other two things? I have a […]
Online Dating Fails: Booze
Guy: Well you definately tell it how it is which you should no one wans to waste time and we are all looking for somthing so i hope my pics pass your long and hard judgement lol im 29 from staten island i worked as a trader for last 9 yrs and about 6 months […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: Program for Mike to Attend
I have an account with $456,879,457,348,230,120,234,436,234,742.23 (USD) that I need to transfer to your country. If you choose to accept this mission and it is successfully completed you can keep 1% of the total amount. If not, I will have to kill you. Okay so I got an email of programs for graduating seniors. I […]